so it is true

i do not love my family, nor do i appreciate anything they do, they are just pawns and people who happen to be in my life who i have dependency upon...they have cultivated a 21 year old leech.

there's nothing im proud of in my life,

even the small and meager skills and countless talented associates i have.

i have no pride...the only pride i have is that i can write endlessly about how depressed i am and how much attention i need, and how much i need people to pretend/claim they love me.

there are a noted few that are the exception that truly appreciate knowing me and such,

but i am the filipino family's burden, the loser, the burnout, the one who held a such promise at a young age, but learned in an instant that if you choose not to do something, someone can do it for you. and if its not for you or needs to be done? it will be.

i feel like i need to go away for a long time, one to lift this mental burden i have given my mother, and two

to appreciate what i have, i just need to run away from everything really.

im going to go on a goddamned mission because i dont care about anyone,

i simple dont care, not i dont give a fuck. i do not care.

it would be a waste of time if i continued to live here in SF.

danny just bring me with you, and i will check my self into homeless place cause essentially i am just a squatter living in a house with people i do not care about.